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YOUR FAILURE AND GOD’S GRACE
Part 1
I read this past week where there is actually a Phobic Society of America for people with different fears. They have 3,500 members; at their convention last year only 200 showed up because of some reason or another they were afraid to go — flying, large groups, etc.
It’s interesting to me that we all have different fears we have to face and deal with. Some people have fought in combat but they’re not about to visit a dentist. Others climb mountains and cliffs but if somebody were to ask them to speak in front of 15 people it would kill them.
A recent survey showed that one of our greatest fears is — the Fear of Failure. In America we idolize success. Failing is almost the unpardonable sin. Nobody wants to fail. Some people would do anything to win — lower their morals or whatever. It creates great stress on people.
The fear of failure has many different faces. It can cause you to be indecisive. You can’t make decisions because you’re afraid you’re going to make the wrong one. The fear of failing can make you a workaholic. You never slow down, never rest, or relax, because you’re afraid of failing. The fear of becoming a failure can make you a perfectionist. You’re never satisfied. It’s never just right.
Research has shown that the more successful you are the more you tend to fear failure. The fear of failure, experts say, is most severe among talented people. How many of you have known the answer to a question but you were afraid to raise your hand?
The Bible tells us there are ay least four antidotes to the fear of failure.
1. Remember, everybody fails.
2. Realize it’s not fatal.
3. Recognize the benefits.
4. Relax in God’s grace.
Let’s take a couple of weeks and look at each of these:
1. REMEMBER THAT EVERYBODY FAILS.
Have you ever made any mistakes? Welcome to the human race. It just validates your humanity. James 3:2 “We all stumble in many ways.” I hear people say, “What if I fail?” I want to say, “What do you mean “if?” The facts of life are you have failed many, many times in life. You’re a failing right now in some areas. You’re failing in some areas of your life right now and you’re going to fail a whole lot more in your future. I know it sounds so negative, but it is so true.
We all stumble in many ways. The wise man Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 7:20 said, “There is no one on earth who does what is right all the time and never makes a mistake.” Nobody is perfect. The closest you’re ever going to get to perfection is when you’re filling out a job application. That’s the perfect you right there. We all stumble, even the super stars. The average NBA player only makes 50% of his shots. That means they miss every other time. The guy with the best batting average flirted with the 400 mark. Nobody has done that since Ted Williams. He didn’t get there. That means 6 out of every 10 times he went to bat he walked back to the dugout and he was the best in the league. Even the superstars strike out. Everybody fails. Failure is going to be a part of the rest of your life. It’s Ok, it’s normal, and it’s part of being human. The Bible says it like this, “All have sinned and fallen short…” [I heard the story of a pastor who was preaching on this verse "All have fallen short..." and he said, "Thank God that He forgives our falling shorts!"] But it’s true! We all have falling shorts! Or short fallings!
When you let go of your image of being perfect, the fear of failure will let go of its grip of you. Just realize: I have failed, I am failing in some area now, and I’m going to fail in the future in some area, but its just part of being a human. I’m not God. [Chevy Chase says, "I'm Chevy Chase and you're not." God says, "I'm God, you're not!"] Everybody fails.
To admit we fail is not wrong. To declare ourselves failures and refuse to get up and go on after we fail is wrong. Someone is reading this now and you have made such a mess of your life and feel you will never be able to recover and have a successful marriage, life or future. That is not so. Go ahead agree with God that you are not God, that you are not perfect, and let Him forgive you so you can get on with your life without continually camping around your shortcomings. It actually feels pretty good to acknowledge you can fail in God’s eyes without being a failure. It’s your choice. I hope you will choose to move on.
Why Do You Have Trouble Asking For Help?
Life is a struggle for many people. That is the tie that binds all of us together because lets face it; we are all up against something. Most will doubt our sanity from time to time. But the good news is that it is a fact that only sane people doubt their sanity, only insane people are certain of theirs.
Asking for help is difficult for many. There is something in asking for help that makes us feel like we are failures for having to do so. We choose to continue to struggle rather than hurt our pride by reaching out to others. Yet ironically when friends and family ask us for help we usually feel honored to be asked.
The now cancelled ABC series ‘Men in Trees’ once had an inspiring episode with a good lesson to it. It was a legend about a mother who gave her son a special task. There was a very large rock in the middle of the river and she asked him to move the rock out using ALL of his strength. He tried and tried but could not do it by himself. Finally he gave up and asked his mother to help him, and together they moved the rock out of the river.
The boy was very disappointed in himself because he had failed the task he had been given. Then his mother told him she was proud of him because sometimes using ALL your strength, means asking for help. He had actually passed the test.
Reaching out to others for help is difficult at the best of times because we do not want to inconvenience or trouble other people. But the reality is that most people feel special when they are trusted enough to be let into our world of struggles and difficulty. That’s the wonderful thing about family and close friends though; that through the years we usually take turns carrying each other’s load.
Being able to talk to someone about your troubles can begin the process of healing even if there seems to be no immediate solution. You’ve heard it said, a problem shared equals a problem half solved.
The only thing that is worse than asking for help, is not asking for help and then resenting our friends and loved ones for not being mind readers and knowing that we are struggling inside. The one and only way that people are ever going to know what is going on in your head and heart is if you open up and talk to them about it.
No matter what you are struggling with at this very moment there is always someone safe to talk to. Sometimes it’s our family and friends. Sometimes it’s a counselor, a support group or a medical professional like a nurse or doctor. It all starts with asking for help. Asking for help does not reveal we are weak, but rather it proves our strength.
It is so easy to isolate ourselves from others when we do not share our burdens. The Bible says, “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; they defy all sound judgment.” (Proverbs 18:1)
We all need a little help to sort things out at times. And when someone does ask us for help we need to be honest with them about how we see things. They say to be a completely balanced person everyone needs at least one person in their life who will be completely honest with them. It is hard to own our own shortcomings but everybody has them. Advice is such a funny thing. When we give it to others it’s advice, but when others give it to us it’s often seen as interference.
Having a certain kind of pride is a very good thing. But having too much pride will cost you a lot of relationships in the long run. Needing other people is what makes us human. So, if you are feeling down or you’ve isolated yourself then reach out to someone in your corner of the world. I believe the support and understanding you need is there for the asking. No one ever needs to be alone in his or her struggles.
Jesus said, I will never leave you or forsake you. I believe He always has someone close by to help you in your time of trouble.
Blessed are they who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
